


The Westeros Certificate of General Education

by captainofthegreenpeas



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, game of thrones
Genre: Gen, Humour, Nostalgia, Parody, the show ends tonight guys, time for some fuuuuun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-08 05:06:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18887764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainofthegreenpeas/pseuds/captainofthegreenpeas
Summary: Past papers from the seven kingdoms. Discover the answer to every examiner's burning question: "Is it known?"NOW WITH ADDED QUESTIONS (context free spoilers)





	The Westeros Certificate of General Education

**Author's Note:**

> Most of this is reposted from my 06/02/2014 piece on fanfiction.net (Back when the show was good...) I did my best to make the jokes as fresh as possible and stay away from too many obvious punchlines.

Multiple choice questions

Grammar

Correct the mistakes in the following statement:

"There are many dirts beyond the sea. The dirt where I was born."

a) Not dirts. Lands.

b) I didn't come here to argue grammar. 

Chemistry

Fire cannot kill:

a) a unicorn

b) a teenage mutant ninja turtle

c) a dragon

Economics

What does a Lannister **always** pay?

a) his phone bill

b) his debts

c) his OK! magazine subscription 

Geography

Where is the middle ground in the game of thrones?

a) There isn't one

b) slightly to the left

c) second star to the right, straight on till morning

Essay questions

Architecture and Construction

Estimate a cost benefit analysis for the substitution of dragonfire for a bulldozer. 

Engineering

Calculate the tensile strength of plot armour.

Economics

Is the demand for castles elastic or inelastic? Explain why. 

Animal Care

Name one body part suitable for feeding for goats. 

A hound has not been fed for seven days. Design a meal plan to help the dog regain and retain a healthy weight and muscle mass.Explain your choices. 

Biology

If a woman reproduces with a rabbit, will her child be born with long floppy ears? Explain your answer.

Fashion and Design

If a man wants to be king of the rabbits, should he wear a pair of big floppy ears? Explain your answer.

Physics

Martin's first law: characters at motion tend to die, characters at rest also die. Discuss. 

Home Economics

Half an onion is black with rot. Is it a rotten onion? Explain your method of preparation.

Childcare

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of giant's milk as a substitute for formula milk.

Mathematics

If Tyrion is only half as clever as he thinks he is, yet is still twice as clever as Cersei, then how much cleverer than Cersei does Tyrion think he is? Detail your method in full.

Chaos is a ladder leaning against a wall. The height of the wall is 8 metres. The angle between the ladder and the ground is 45 degrees. Calculate in metres the length of chaos. 

Psychology

Explain the consequences of repeated exposure to bells. You may make reference to Pavlov in your answer. 

Law

"There's no justice in this world, not unless we make it." Discuss.

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of wildfire as the defence counsel. 

Theatre

Discuss the use of Faceless Men in Izembaro's original production of _the Bloody Hand_.

Theology

Where IS the god of tits and wine?

Coursework

Art

Still Life

Draw a corpse. Any corpse. **Failing to find a corpse does not qualify as exceptional circumstances**. 

(Bonus points for imaginative interpretation).

Alternative Examination

If Hodor hodor hodor hodor hodor hodor, hodor hodor hodor hodor hodor hodor?

a) hodor

b) hodor

c) hodor

 

 


End file.
